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Kosmos

by Sacresc

supported by
Jill Herbert
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1.
i. Ensnared 10:24
lyrics
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I didn't understand I was obsessed with the turning of time My condition, my fucked up mind I lied, I said I was fine Then the reflection shut my eyes They looked through me like a some-day suicide I swear to god I should be taped up and left alone Fed to the fishes of my soul I saw an animal with its leg caught in a tree It was wailing, it was dying I stared and did nothing And thought that everything is constantly suffering And nature in its cruelty is constantly watching My shattered soul is always fading Into the air that nature gave me And becoming a part of the machinery of humanity I didn’t know who I was I didn't know where I had been I didn't know what happened I didn't understand Trapped inside, the things I hated I tried to hide I tried to get away, I went outside Oh god every knife knew where to cut Oh my god every feeling knew where to look Deep down I was lost like I always was Deep down [You were lost like you've always been]
2.
(the myth of gyges) 01:40
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3.
ii. Agonized 09:58
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Were you the reason I longed for nothing Were you the storm cloud in between my ears Was it you who spit puzzles in my skull Were you the silence swallowing everything [I am only you] Was I made with some strength Was it within me Was it within me Or was I the coffin I will be buried in Was I the coffin I will be buried in Was it within me I saw it all at once I will never be golden I saw it all at once I will never be golden Was it within me Was it within me [You were wailing, you were dying] [You stared and did nothing] I was agony [Hanging from your tree] I've never had what it takes to live in peace that's there but fake The decisions I made were all mistakes I destroyed the things I made The best of days were agonizing Begging mirrors to try and break The sinking feeling in free falling The numbing feeling was never coming I was the God of pure despair [The animal you couldn't save] Brain needles, endless stabbing My soul needed some kind of soothing
4.
iii. Disturbed 05:58
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Red came rushing down my sink Red came rushing down my sink Everything, everything was flowing through my bloodstream Hit my head against the wall Talk and talk, it burst my eardrums Everything, everything was leaving me and down my drain Get out of my head [Kill the animal] Tree rings ate my head [Cyanide soaked your smile] I can't do this [Giving up is painless] I stuck my head in the tub It all went black
5.
(the myth of er) 01:44
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Abbadon, Asmodeus Agamemnon fed to the animal Beelzebub, Jesus Jesus, Beelzebub God empty, darkness, pain, fire, torture Psyche eaten by Lucifer Psyche Jesus Beelzebub Psyche
6.
iv. Isolated 07:12
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I woke up, I was alive Ate my bucket of pills like colored candy I just wanted to feel alone Separated and out of control Everything was a side effect meant to kill what I am But nothing did so I just wished that you'd die [You cry at night cause you're alone You're a coward trained to let go Don't you see the theme, it's all your fault But nonetheless you blame them all And even when you realize you don't even attempt to stop All of mankind finally gave up Cause you're empty, such a burden Give them just one good reason to stick around Yeah you've got nothing Everybody knows that they're better off without you there You're not enough You're just a drug, you'll wear off You trapped everyone, all for yourself You're selfish and addictive, you ruin all that you touch Everyone you love will someday see You're an animal caught in a tree You only beg for what you want But you've got a soul that can't be loved You only got what you deserved You're a pathetic hypocrite, a selfish piece of shit A suffering, self hating, isolating, isolated animal] Shut the fuck up You're wrong You're wrong You're wrong That's not me I'm alive and in control I promised I'd try I promise I'll try I promise I'll try I promise
7.
(black horse i.) 03:04
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8.
(black horse ii.) 00:39
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9.
v. Gutted 07:23
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Something took a knife and gutted me And all that was good spilled out of me Can they hear me Can they see me I flushed the pills Something drowned in the tub filled up with my own blood Something came alive in a sky of medicine I didn't understand I don't think I can [We can become something human] There's beauty in falling apart I can't accept these scissors for fingers I can't accept this poison for water I can't accept these cages for nature I can't accept this dying animal for who I am
10.
(black horse iii.) 01:23
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credits

released April 24, 2021

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Sacresc Austin, Texas

Sound Swells/Feedback Loop

Everlasting

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